Anticipation

I wanted to write another blog about love and loving each other, and can’t we all just get along? Citing Abraham Lincoln, “with malice toward none, and Charity for all.” But, what hasn’t been said already? And, it doesn’t seem to make any difference.

Instead, I’m going to talk about preparation. Today is my oldest daughter’s birthday, and as I have been preparing, I realized it made me happy! I thought of a magnificent example of Spanglish from my 7^th grade Spanish class. (Thanks Mr. Randall!) Unfortunately, the author is unknown to me, but the refrain remains, with the cadence recognizable.

            ‘Twas la noche before Christmas and all through the casa,

            Mama, she was busy preparing the masa,

            To make the tamales for the tamaladas

            And all the ingredients for the enchiladas.

Whether in Spanglish, or the original Clement C. Moore version, the sentiment is the same. Getting ready for the big day is just about as good as the actual event. Anticipation is amazing!

My very favorite season is fall, not because of Halloween and pumpkin spice (although those things are great!) But because of what is coming…Thanksgiving, Christmas, family, peace, love, charity, Jesus, Winter wonderlands (a car ride away). You might think to yourself, “It sounds like your favorite season is Winter.” But no! It’s the build up! The crisp mornings and warm, breezy afternoons! The end of Summer, the countdown to the holidays! The magic of children trying to make it onto the Good List!

It’s all about the preparation! Whether for a birthday, the holidays, a wedding (this may be different for the actual bride and groom), the activity of preparation brings people together in wonderful ways! Making goodies, planning events, sure some stress can be involved, but even that sense of urgency adds to the excitement!

One of these glorious Autumn days that brings me personal joy is Black Friday. I can see you all rolling your eyes right now (all except for my sister Elise, her eyes lit up!) But seriously! I love that! I remember the days fondly when it started at 6am. It was one of the few things that could drag me out of bed in the dark without a cranky word! I concede, I wish they would leave Thanksgiving Day out of it. (It’s called Black FRIDAY people!) But the crowds and the lines and the early morning peppermint hot chocolate are the stuff of my dreams! Haha! There are a few stores I avoid because of the crazies (I’m lookin’ at you Best Buy), but they are usually the same stores I avoid every day (yes, Walmart) (Wow, it’s apparently offend big business day. But obviously I know they don’t care what I think.)

I love packages from Amazon as much as the next person, but there is no comparison that emits the feelings of “children laughing, people passing, meeting smile after smile.” No, the one on the brown box doesn’t count. It’s the activity of getting things ready for the people I love with other people I love. And whether it’s midnight shopping with my sisters or making tamales with my mom, it’s the same thing. It all comes down to love, and dedicating my time to the people I love. Because it really is “all you need.”

Can We Talk?

I’m afraid to write anything on Facebook. That’s the real reason I started a blog. 

I love my family. I love my friends. I don’t want them to be mad at me. But I do want to speak my mind and live my truth. 

Im pretty sure I disagree with about 90% of Americans right now. 

(Quick summary. I’m a pro-life, anti-Trump, former Republican who believes in liberty for all, with a soft spot for children, refugees, and immigrants seeking a better life.)

I want to talk about this. I want to have conversations with people who disagree with me. But, I don’t want angry yelling, name-calling, or fistfights at Christmas.

I’m trying so hard not to live my life from a place of fear. I truly believe that fear has put us in the unpleasant place where we are today. 

I’m a firm believer in 2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

I believe that love and a sound mind will go a long way toward restoring the equilibrium of our country. 

I’m also a sexual assault survivor who doesn’t think we can just “believe all women”. Oh! That sounds harsh! I don’t mean to be harsh. If someone says they were molested, abused, attacked, harassed, raped, I will be supportive! I promise! I will hug you and hold your hand and listen to your story! But I’m not 100% sure I can convict a man of a sex crime without evidence beyond she said he did it. 

I have no proof of my own personal story. I don’t remember the dates or a lot of other details of what happened. I definitely remember who did it, and that a perfectly adorable little playhouse sat unused for very ugly reasons. 

I appreciate the outpouring of support when I was finally able to say it out loud! (Does it mean anything that that all of the responses and all but 2 of the reactions on a related FB post were from women?) I’m so glad that no one questioned my motives or feelings. I would never lie about something like this, and I’m sure that neither would you! But I’m also sure that it could happen. People lie, cheat, steal, murder, even women. 

People keep asking, why would a woman lie about such a horrible thing? Well, why would a woman commit murder or make up illnesses for her child? It’s beyond reason! 

Please believe that this isn’t a judgement on Dr. Jones! I didn’t watch a single second of the hearings. I don’t know how we could possibly judge which of them is telling the truth! And maybe someone who’s been accused of sexual misconduct shouldn’t be on the Supreme Court, but I think the slippery slope there is fairly obvious, right?

From what I’ve seen, people have pretty much decided that the person they agree with politically is telling the truth. How is this possible? 

I honestly don’t have an answer. I wish I did. It would make this so much easier if I could just say...Look you dummies! So and so is telling the truth and the other one is lying! 

(J/k, I would never call you dummies!) But I can’t, and I’m not sure how anybody can.

I’ve heard one theory, that she is right and he was too drunk to remember. This is usually followed by, but he hasn’t shown any remorse, so he doesn’t deserve to be on the Supreme Court! Um, why would he show remorse if he doesn’t think he did it? 

Of course this is all just rambling! But this is the point I’m trying to make. Why can’t we have this conversation in public? Do I hate women and have no empathy or understanding for survivors because I don’t automatically believe that Kavanaugh is a rapist? Am I a raging liberal because I think we should question him about what happened and hesitate to rush through confirmation? 

Can you tell me why you believe the way you do? Can we have a conversation about it? 

Are you mad at me?